Leaving Oxford Read online

  “Only, now I don’t believe the idea came out of nowhere. I’ve been meeting with Juan since the trip to Guatemala and talking to Mark on the phone. I finally get it. God was there for me the whole time. He gave me the hope to hang on to life until I met Mark in college and then you and Juan and finally...Jesus. Not that I think I saw Jesus in the flesh or anything weird. I feel Him. I see the miracle. I get it.”

  Her heart fluttered. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying, Adam?”

  “I’m saying I believed that night in Guatemala, but then Amy showed me those pictures, and I heard about the party. I came to Dylan Conner’s, fuming and thinking you’d been having a fling with him all along. I thought you left me for him, and the religious talk was just an excuse.

  “Juan was able to convince me to leave—and kept me from injuring Dylan, by the way. He assured me you and Dylan weren’t romantically involved. He was probably the only person who could’ve. Then we talked all night about my parents, my pain—my fear. I cried like a baby. Juan was the giant, and I was the small man. He told me God would forgive me and stay with me always. You know how passionate I am when I finally decide to do something, right?”

  She had to chuckle though her chest already quivered. “Yes.”

  “I asked Juan to baptize me. Right there in the Pacific. We were both nearly swept away in the surf, but we were laughing and crying and rejoicing, sopping wet.”

  Countless times over the last weeks, she’d imagined these words coming from Adam, and now they were real. But... “Wait a minute. Juan didn’t tell me any of this.”

  “I asked him not to. I didn’t want you to think it was about you. And—I mean that in a nice way.”

  This was so much to take in. “I’m pulling over somewhere to turn around. My condo’s not far. Let’s go sit on my back balcony and talk.”

  ~~~

  Jess watched as Sarah Beth continued her story, her hands shaking, her voice soft.

  “Adam and I sat there on that porch and talked for hours. We decided not to jump right back into a relationship and agreed that we should both take time with the Lord to grow and study for a while. Finally, he said he should get back to the apartment to sleep before his next shift. We hit the freeway.”

  Sarah Beth grabbed hold of the arms of her rocking chair and stiffened.

  Jess stopped rocking. “Are you okay?”

  Her face was ashen. Her chest shook violently. “I was driving him back, and all of a sudden, a van crossed the median and headed into our lane. I tried to angle the car so the impact would be on my side. I wanted to protect...”

  When he’d asked her to share her story, he had no idea how painful it would be for her. Now he wished he could absorb the hurt for her. Shield her. “You don’t have to go on.” Jess got out of his chair and went to his knees in front of her, his hands on hers.

  “I have to.” Though her voice shook, moonlight bathed her face and showed determination in the set of her jaw. “The van somehow missed us, swerved back into the median, and came to a stop. My car was sideways on the shoulder of the road. I heard the horrifying screech of brakes. The driver of a pickup, confused by the lights of the van in the median, swerved off to the side of the road. He hit the passenger side of my little car. Where Adam sat.”

  A sob sliced the air. “He tried to stop when he saw us. The van, the blow from the pickup, all happened in seconds, but to me it seemed in slow motion.

  “I remember Adam asking if I was hurt. I was dazed for only a second, and then I saw the blood. Metal twisted around his right leg. He reached and turned my face toward his. He said, ‘Look at me, Sarah Beth. I need you to know I love you always, and you helped save me.’

  “I couldn’t understand why he was saying that. I needed to make a tourniquet. Blood was everywhere. When the medics arrived, I was trying to tie my sweater around his leg, hysterical. They pulled me off him. Adam was already gone. A ‘partially severed artery,’ they said.”

  So many losses. Jess put his hands on her cheeks and wiped her tears with his thumbs. So much for one person to endure. “I don’t know how you’ve managed.”

  “Mark flew out. Jill, Juan, Dr. Rodriguez, and even Dylan took turns sitting with me. Adam’s parents blamed me because I’d been driving.”

  Her teary eyes found his. “I couldn’t function. I asked Mark to bring me back here. He stayed a couple of weeks. After that Kim, Chris, and the Lathams said they would watch over me so Mark could go home to be with his family. Chris and Kim dragged me to the student ministry. Dean Latham got it in his head I should teach a few of his classes, and then he put me in charge of the Foundation marketing. Gradually, I created a new life, or I should say, God created my new life.”

  “How long have you been back?”

  “A little over a year now.” She sat back and wiped at her eyes and nose.

  What should he say? Jess returned to the chair beside hers and glanced out at the evening sky. His chest squeezed. If only he could shoulder the pain. Take it away.

  Stars flickered, and a slight breeze carried a night bird’s song as they rocked in the quiet.

  “So say something.” Sarah Beth’s gaze pleaded. “Anything. Funny or crazy—or even inappropriate.”

  “I would’ve loved to see that dog hanging by its teeth from Dylan’s sleeve.”

  She chuckled, then the sound died.

  “You are very courageous, Sarah Beth, and I hate that you went through all that.”

  Gingie stood at attention and let out a deep guttural growl.

  “Whoa, what’s up with her?” Sarah Beth caught the dog’s collar. “That’s the sound she made before she attacked Dylan.”

  A limo pulled over in front of the house. The door opened.

  “Speak of the devil, or should I say devils?” Jess mumbled under his breath.

  Dylan stepped over Sophia and staggered out. “Hey, Sarah Beth, I came to grab my backpack. We’re flying to Paris. Hope you don’t mind if I take off early. Someone will pick up my rental for me.”

  “Be careful, Dylan.” Her voice held a kind, warning tone.

  The guy was making a huge mistake.

  In minutes, Dylan bounded out of the pool house. He tossed her the keys before heading back into the limo. “You know you’ll miss me.”

  The dog let out a snarl, and Sarah Beth gripped tighter. Once the limo drove away, she shook her head. “That’s gonna be one hot mess.”

  “No doubt. I don’t know who to feel more sorry for.” With a shrug, Jess let out a bitter chuckle. “Probably Dylan. He obviously thought he had a chance with you. Since you weren’t interested, he fell right into her web.”

  “Dylan doesn’t know what he wants. He’s like a big kid.”

  Jess stood and stretched. “You’re probably spent between Dylan and sharing such painful memories. I should leave.”

  Gingie scrambled over to him and stood on her hind legs, paws on Jess.

  “No. Down.” Sarah Beth slapped her hands together.

  Jess plopped back into his seat. “Well, okay. I was just trying to be polite.”

  The laugh bubbling from Sarah Beth made the corny joke worthwhile.

  “I was talking to Gingie. She’s too big to be jumping on people.”

  “I think I can take it.”

  “You can, but Katie or Camilla would be barreled over. I’m going to obedience school soon.”

  Jess nudged her arm. “You’re going to obedience school? Maybe you should try a cooking school.”

  She smacked him, playfully. “You know what I mean.”

  “I’d like to be a fly on the wall at either one.”

  “Because you’re amused by my inadequacies?”

  “Very amused.” He held her gaze until she looked away. Her vulnerable expression stripped away his last defenses. There was no turning back. He’d protect this woman with his life.

  She stood. “You’re right. It is getting kinda late.”

  He returned to his feet. “I
should go.” He took one step but turned to face her. “You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever met.”

  Her eyes looked everywhere but at him. He reached across the short distance and pulled her into a side-hug. He didn’t need to freak her out. “Good night, Sarah Beth. See you soon.”

  “Goodbye.”

  Chapter 23

  After knocking, Sarah Beth strolled into Chris and Kim’s home for the usual Tuesday family night. Chris, Nick, and Jess huddled in the living room in an intense conversation.

  “Hey, guys. Where are the ladies?”

  Chris motioned to the backyard. “Sarah Beth, can you start the burgers? Kim took the girls to the playground.”

  “Me? Start the burgers?” She strained her neck trying to catch Jess’s eye where he sat on the couch. His head rested on his hands, still talking to Nick.

  “If you don’t mind.”

  “Sure.” Something must be terribly wrong. She walked out back with the beef patties she’d found in the kitchen, lit the grill, and set three timers on her phone: a timer to flip the burgers, a timer to take off the burgers, a timer to turn off the grill. She carefully placed each burger on the rack, then checked and double-checked the patties as they heated, to make sure they cooked all the way but didn’t burn, then stacked them on a clean tray and turned off the grill.

  The back door creaked and opened. A huge grin lit up Nick’s face. “We’re going to need to borrow your pool. Tonight.”

  Sarah Beth’s heart skipped a beat, and her stomach jumped into her throat. “Does this mean...?” Setting aside the plate of food, she ran to him.

  Teary-eyed, Nick came and embraced her. “You, with your fine skis and sweet heart, have finally gotten through to my best friend. Jess wants to give his life to the Lord and be baptized tonight. I’ve prayed for this day for years.”

  Sarah Beth looked to the heavens. “Thank You, Lord.” She turned back to Nick. “Call Sam and have him meet us there. He needs to see this.”

  Squinting, he gave her a slow nod. “I’m on it.”

  A caravan traveled to Sarah Beth’s. Chris and Nick led the way through the gate and down the sidewalk, then stepped into the pool with Jess. Ripples formed in the blue water that reflected the evening sky. Students took a seat on the edge.

  Droplets fell as Chris placed a hand on Jess’s shoulder. “Jess, do you believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God?”

  “I do.”

  Sarah Beth covered her mouth with her hand. Joy flooded her heart.

  “Do you want Jesus to be the Lord of your life?”

  “Yes.”

  With his other hand on Jess’s head, Chris sent him under the clear water. Everyone broke into applause as Jess rose up, streams of liquid cascading from him. Nick let out a loud whoop and embraced Jess with a slap on the back.

  Jess gave a fist pump toward the sky. Once he’d shaken hands with a few students near the ladder, he made a straight path to Sam who leaned against the gate. “I’m glad you came, man.”

  “I guess you’ll be preaching to me now.”

  Jess grabbed Sam in a bear hug, slinging water over his friend. “You know it, brother.”

  A slight smile pulled up Sam’s lips. “Come on. You’re soaking me.”

  Back at Chris’s house, the student minister carried a pitcher of tea and opened the back door. “Uh, oh. The burgers.”

  Sarah Beth stepped out past him. “What?”

  Cats of every size and color scrambled off the patio table by the grill.

  “Oh no, I can’t believe it. I was so careful when I cooked, and I covered them with foil to keep them warm. Where in the world did those cats come from?”

  “My neighbor’s been complaining about a colony of feral cats living under his deck.” Chris snickered. “We may’ve just eliminated them for him.”

  “Those burgers were perfect.” She huffed. “Now no one will ever believe me.”

  ~~~

  The adorable pout on Sarah Beth’s lips made Jess laugh. “I believe you. Think of it this way, you just made those cats very happy.” He gave her shoulder a little squeeze. “Pizza’s on me.”

  Bryan strummed his guitar as they waited for the delivery.

  Peace washed over Jess. A cleanness. “Do you and Bryan want to sing?” He shouldn’t put her on the spot. “Or just Bryan could sing.”

  Her long lashes were still wet with tears, but she flashed a smile. “I’ll sing if everyone joins in.”

  “You don’t want to hear what comes out of these pipes.” Jess swiped his fingers across his chin. “Your puppy sounds more in tune.”

  “It can’t be that bad, but even if it is, it’s about what’s in your heart.”

  Pointing toward his ears, Nick nodded. “It’s about protecting your eardrums once you hear his attempts to sing. Our high school coach banned him from leading our fight song. It was that awful.”

  Jess punched Nick’s shoulder. “Don’t start telling embarrassing high school stories. I have a few of yours, too.”

  ~~~

  Bryan cut through the conversation with singing. The song brought holiness. Tears again ran down Sarah Beth’s face as she joined in with all her might.

  Adam. Their last day together surfaced with the emotion of the evening. Closing her eyes, she pictured him, with his sky blue eyes, singing along somewhere in another dimension with her mother, father, and Gram. A sense of peace mingled with pain and tugged at her celebration with Jess.

  She was happy for Jess. He would move into a new life with the Lord at his side. Wherever that took him in his career. If his dream came true, he’d leave Oxford sooner or later.

  But she’d still be here. She took a cleansing breath, opened her eyes, and wiped her cheeks. Kim handed her a couple of tissues.

  Jess’s gaze captured her attention. It held an expression she couldn’t place, but she managed to give him a smile.

  Once everyone had their fill of pizza and congratulated Jess, the crowd thinned. Bryan gathered his guitar and stood. Before the young man left, Sarah Beth caught him by the arm. “Thanks for leading the songs.”

  He covered her hand with his. “You know, I would so marry you and take care of you forever, if you’d consider it.”

  Was he joking? “Bryan, I was born too early to be lucky enough to marry you. Besides, you deserve someone as amazing as you are.”

  “You aren’t that many years older, and you’re amazing. Don’t you see that?”

  “I’m not sure if you’re joking or serious, but I can’t think about getting involved with someone yet. If I were at that point, I wouldn’t get involved with a student or any man in your age group. I’ve got a lifetime of baggage someone who’s twenty-one wouldn’t know how to carry.”

  Still touching her hand, his eyes searched hers. “My shoulders are strong. You might be surprised at how much I can carry.”

  She took her hand back and clamped her mouth shut.

  “Okay, okay, I give up. For now. But in a couple of years, I’m checking back in.”

  Sarah Beth shook her head. “You’ll make some lucky girl the best husband ever.”

  “You’re breaking my heart, Ms. Professor.”

  Jess materialized at her side in dry clothes. “Sorry to interrupt, but, Sarah Beth, can I trouble you for a ride? Nick needed to get Katie home. I can find another way if it’s inconvenient.”

  “I’m ready if you are.” She hustled over to gather her bag.

  At her SUV, she scrambled to shuffle a stack of papers to the back seat again. “Let me make some room for you.”

  After she’d cleared the space, she glanced at Jess. His brows rose, and his lips held a smirk. “So, you don’t date students or any men in that age group? I liked how you added that—just in case he might drop out of school to try to go out with you.”

  She crossed over to the driver’s side and took a seat. “Were you eavesdropping?”

  “Maybe I have good ears.”

  After starting the ca
r, she headed toward his place, still a bit shocked by the encounter with Bryan. The couple of miles passed in silence as she pondered the whole strange and beautiful evening.

  She braked at the driveway to his house and turned in. “Are you going to say you told me so?”

  “Nah, I’m trying to make a change. Besides, you already said it.”

  “I know you want to. Go ahead.”

  Jess hopped out and lingered at the door of the SUV. “I told you... Nope, not going to do it. Good night, Sarah Beth. Thank you for...everything. See you soon.”

  Her eyes met his, and warmth flooded her soul. “I’m so happy about your decision.”

  She waited for him to walk inside. A hint of something that she hadn’t felt in a very long time washed over her.

  She couldn’t start this. Not now. Not yet. Maybe not ever. He would be leaving Oxford. And she couldn’t.

  Chapter 24

  Two summer camps down. How many more to go? Jess organized his equipment in the locker room. Again. He enjoyed the kids, but the heat was wretched. Mississippi summers had to have the worst humidity in the western world. Plus his mind had been wandering. A couple of days had passed since he’d seen Sarah Beth. Too long. He’d held back as long as he could. Why was that so hard? She’d made it clear she didn’t want to date. Yet. He tried to give her space. Were a couple of days enough?

  He drove to her house and trekked down the brick sidewalk. At the door, he raised his hand to knock, but a shadow passed the window. Someone tall stood in the entrance hall. Not Sarah Beth. A man’s voice echoed through the door. Jess’s stomach took a dive. This was a mistake. He couldn’t assume anything about her feelings. It wasn’t his place.